Worst Fast Ever, Day 11

Geez. It’s been pretty bad. In an effort to be positive, I can say that by ATTEMPTING to fast, I’ve eaten more healthy food than I would have otherwise. But I’ve also eaten nearly every unhealthy food that has crossed my path. Social situations are just impossible. Given my (improving but still extremely fragile) emotional state, I have no willpower to resist when someone else wants to feed me. It can be a full meal at a friend’s house, snacks at a play date, party food, or free coffee at the grocery store- if someone is offering me nourishment, it’s hard to turn down. It’s a totally ridiculous emotional thing.

And remember my plan to liquid fast sunup to sundown on Wednesdays? Yeah. I did, too. When I got to church at 7pm Wednesday night. Oops.

The prayer part of all this “prayer and fasting” has been incredibly productive. Proof of God’s grace, I suppose. Even as I am totally screwing up my eating plan, He remains faithful to meet me in prayer and gently guide me to grow in other areas. That growth has been emotionally taxing at times, and might be a factor in my failures with the fast. It’s all a process, so I have to give myself grace, too.

Besides, it hasn’t been ALL bad. Here’s some of the healthy stuff I’ve been eating.

My friend’s husband juices every day when he comes home for lunch. I love it when our play dates coincide with his lunch hour. I don’t know what’s in it, but it’s super healthy and super delicious.

Breakfasts have generally been really easy to stick to the paleo plan. Protein, fruit, done. I’ve started soaking my hard boiled eggs in raw sauerkraut juice. Not sure if I’m getting more of the good probiotics this way, but it makes the eggs nice and salty. And it’s a great use for the probiotic rich liquid that’s left when we finish off the jar of kraut.

Snacks on the go. I also eat a lot of Larabars. Most versions are paleo-friendly.

Italian sausage and peppers. I keep a bag of this in the freezer for a quick dinner in the skillet. Organic Italian sausage, bell peppers, garlic, onion, and herbs like basil, oregano, thyme, and Rosemary. Sometimes I have random leftovers of grass-fed hotdogs or uncured pepperoni that I’ll chop up and throw in the bag. Couldn’t be easier.

Another typical breakfast. Scrambled eggs with herbs. Finally got hooked back up with our “egg gypsy” so these are local, pastured, free-range, NOT pasteurized, etc. All the good things that come from getting eggs from someone’s back yard.

Paleo chili with grass-fed beef heart. I won’t go into the health benefits of eating organ meat, but there are many. And no one has been able to taste it in this chili. I top it off with a mound of sauerkraut instead of sour cream or cheese.

Praying for strength to balance my need for emotional nourishment with nutritional nourishment. Or to separate one from the other. Sometimes, I seem to need the fellowship more than the nutrients. We have a birthday party to go to in a few hours, and dinner with a friend tonight. Praying for guidance and discernment so that I can stay within God’s plan for my healing- whatever that may be.

Day 2, and Why I Do Paleo

In conversations with friends, there have been lots of questions about the specifics of this fast. What does “paleo” really mean (other than eating a bunch of meat like a caveman) and why subject myself to something so restrictive? And why only liquids on Wednesdays?

So let me try to explain some of that here.

I’m not going to go into how the paleo diet helps to heal/manage autoimmune disease. There’s a lot of resources out there that explain it well. In my opinion, one of the best available is The Paleo Approach by Sarah Ballantyne. Here’s a link to the kindle edition where you can “try a sample” and see what I’m talking about. http://www.amazon.com/The-Paleo-Approach-Reverse-Autoimmune-ebook/dp/B00I44JHTE

From my own experience and working with an integrative doctor on my healing process, I know that my body has a hard time processing toxins. I know that the proteins in wheat and dairy can cross react with the molecular structure (or whatever) of my own cells and confuse my overzealous immune system. I know that my body is sensitive to fluctuations in blood sugar, and this is exacerbated when I consume caffeine. And even though I rarely experience digestive discomfort, I know the root of my most serious health concerns lies in what’s happening in my belly.

Paleo helps alleviate these issues. Consuming only liquids during the day on Wednesdays will give my digestive system even more of a break so healing can take place more quickly. But this part has spiritual implications as well. The idea is that in denying physical desires, and focusing on things of the spirit, one can weaken the flesh (sinful nature) and strengthen the spirit. I believe this concept can easily be taken too far, and I don’t believe that fasting brings anyone closer to God. But I think it’s a helpful tool to use as I work on growing more mature in my faith.

I don’t intend to get too deep into the prayer part on this blog, but I can tell you, on day 2 of this fast, God is already making moves on my heart. He’s digging into my perceptions of my role as a mom, and drawing some pretty interesting correlations between my relationship with my daughter and His relationship with me. Heavy stuff, but so, so good.

I also do not intend to post every morsel of food that I put in my mouth (as I have in the past). It’s time consuming and unnecessary. But I do want to show a realistic view of how to execute a healing diet, and keep myself accountable, so I’ll post as many of those meals as I can. I’m making very little effort on presentation these days, so the food may not be pretty, but it’ll be paleo.

For example, breakfast… 2 eggs fried in uncured bacon grease over raw, fermented sauerkraut, with bananas and a chai latte (with almond milk). Nothing fancy there. But it’s quick, and it works.

This soup, however, is pretty impressive. It doesn’t look like much. But it’s freakin’ delicious. And gets even better over time as it sits in the fridge- kinda like chili. It’s a Thai-ish chicken noodle soup.

Sauté onions, garlic, and ginger in coconut oil at the bottom of a soup pot. Pour in some coconut aminos (paleo version of soy sauce) and fish sauce (Red Boat brand is good). Then add chicken stock, carrots, celery, and chicken. After a while, add coconut milk and tons of fresh herbs- whatever you’ve got. I used cilantro, thyme, basil, oregano, and rosemary. When you’ve got about 20 minutes left of cooking time, add a bag of kelp noodles. They’re super nutritious and are a perfect grain free noodle option in any Asian-inspired dish. In the last 5 min, add lime juice, zest, and my secret, unnecessary, but super delicious ingredient- a drop or 2 of lemongrass essential oil (therapeutic grade, like Young Living). While I’m sure any medicinal qualities of the oil were probably cooked out, it really gave the soup a fresh, unique flavor.

I only ate 2 official meals today, but probably consumed about 700 calories in Justin’s Maple Almond Butter. By the spoonful. Right out of the jar. That stuff is ridiculous.

Prayer and Fasting

After another long stretch of inconsistency with my eating habits, I am feeling the need for a cleanse. My health has been good (no major flares, still medication-free), but there have been enough minor struggles to hold me back from the healthy, vibrant, active life I want to be living. With the holidays coming up, this seems like the perfect time. Twenty-one days of prayer and fasting should leave me in good shape to indulge on Thanksgiving (which also happens to be my 36th birthday).

Here’s my plan: Strict(ish) Paleo for the next 21 days, with liquid/juice fasts sun-up to sun-down on Wednesdays (to coordinate with my church’s weekly day of prayer and fasting). Sticking to consistent paleo will give my digestive system a break from the destructive effects of gluten and dairy, and the liquid fasts will go a step further and give my gut time to rest and heal whatever damage I’ve done eating potentially harmful foods. I’m not sure how the prayer part is going to shake out, but I’m learning to leave that part to God anyway. My intention is just to spend more focused time in daily prayer and see where He leads.

I started today (a Wednesday, so liquid fasting) with a glass of chocolate almond milk. Not the healthiest choice, but I’m ok with that. It’s delicious and satisfies my sweet cravings in the morning.

Lunch is fresh homemade juice. I swear I can feel my cells soaking this stuff up.

Going out tonight with my girls, so dinner will be tricky. It’ll be after sundown, so I’ll be able to eat, but finding paleo options can be a challenge at some restaurants. It’s a German place, so I’m planning on sausage, sauerkraut, and applesauce. While grass-fed/pastured sausage, raw fermented (instead of pickled) sauerkraut, and applesauce with no added sugar would be ideal, whatever they have will be close enough. (Hence the (ish) on my paleo.)

I would love to have prayer and fasting partners over the next 21 days! Who’s in?